Pop Culture

11 People (& Things) More Spanish Than Hilaria Baldwin

Recently, Hilaria Baldwin has been under fire for her decade-long impersonation of a Spanish person. She is best known for being the wife of Alejandro Baldwiño, errr Alec Baldwin (lo siento, sometimes us bilingual speakers get so confused! Wait, I’m just a white girl from New Jersey? But I took Spanish II in highschool? I must be Spanish, right?) Sadly, Hilary Hayward Thomas is just your average white girl from Boston who grew up in a $4 million home, boorrring. Here are 11 people (and things) more Spanish than Hilaria Baldwin.

1. Charlie Sheen

image source: open road films

Before the Tiger King, there was the Tiger Blood King. This Two and Half Men star was actually born Carlos Estevez. His father, Gracie and Frankie’s Martin Sheen, is half Spanish on his father’s side, making Charlie one quarter Spanish.

2. The Jock from The Breakfast Club

          

image source: universal pictures

Speaking of Charlie Sheen, his brother Emilio Estevez, played Andrew Clark in John Hughes 80’s teen cult classic, the Breakfast Club. So technically, this beloved varsity team jock is also 25% more Spanish than Hilaria Baldwin.

3. Eleven from Stranger Things

image source: netflix

Millie Bobby Brown was born in Málaga, Andalucía, Spain and lived there for four years before moving to England with her family. Even though this Stranger Things actress has 0.0% Spanish blood, she spent four years in Spain, which is more time than Hilaria ever spent there collectively in her life.

4. Nicki Minaj

image source: youtube

Nicki Minaj was born on December 8th 1982, in St. James, Port of Spain, Trinidad & Tobago. Despite not having any Spanish ancestry whatsoever, she was born in, as Hilaria would say, el Puerto de ESPAÑA, so I mean she’s basically Spanish, right?

5. Juarez, the Guinea Pig from G-Force

image source: disney

While this sassy warm-blooded guinea pig’s nationality is never explicitly mentioned, she is voiced by Spanish actress Penélope Cruz, so her Spanish heritage is implied. Fun fact: It’s rumored that Alec Baldwin has a huge crush Penelope Cruz .

6. Spanish Rice

image source: walmart

While this tomato flavored rice isn’t technically not Spanish at all and actually is Mexican, and rice is not native to Mexico. The grain was brought to the country when the Spainards colonized the country in the 1500s, along with cattle, pigs, goats, chickens, and smallpox.

7. Taco Bell’s Churros

image source: taco bell UK

Okay, Taco Bell is not Spanish, but churros are! Churros are a traditional pastry from Spain composed of deep fried pastry dough and topped with cinnamon sugar. However some food historians argue the tasty treat actually originated in China. Youtiao is basically two long breadsticks deep fried in oil. Yet, youtiao doesn’t have cinnamon sugar on it, nor is it dipped in Nutella, so I mean is it even really a churro? ¡Definitivamente no!

8. The Dos Equis Guy aka The Most Interesting Man in the World

image source: medium

I mean, his real name is Jonathan Smith, and he’s actually a Jew from New York, but he advertises a real Spanish beer and has a more convincing accent than Hilaria, so he’s basically Jonatán Oro Herrero.

9. Your Skinny Jeans from Zara

image source: ebay

Your Zara jeans were probably made by an unpaid worker in a literal sweatshop in Istanbul (aka slave labor, yes it’s still happening in 2021.) However, the fast-fashion brand itself was founded by a Spainard named Amancio Ortega. Unfortunately for Hilaria, she and Ortega are both married, as he is totally her type. Filthy rich, morally questionable, and very very old. Then again, he’s only 84, which is only, what, 47 years older than her? You know what they say in Spain, age es solo un número.

10. The Beret

image source: the local france

The beret is typically associated with the French (usually accompanied by a striped shirt and a baguette) but did you know the flat hat actually originated in Basque country? Shepherds from Aragon and Navarra used to wear them in the foothills of the Prynees.

11. Trader Jose’s Salsa

image source: ebay

Okay, so Trader Jose’s is really hispanization of the Trader Joe’s brand, named after its founder, who was just a white guy from San Diego. And yes, salsa is actually Mexican, but technically it was not “discovered” for the rest of the world until the Spanish came in the 1500s, so it’s basically Spanish. But I mean, it says Salsa AUTÉNTICA right on the jar (which means “authentic” in Spanish, by the way, for all you non-Spaniards out there.) It’s not like someone would just LIE about their entire national identity, simply to appear more exotic and to sell spicy jarred tomatoes and/or prenatal yoga DVDs? That would just be a ridiculously offensive form of cultural appropriation right? Trader Joe’s would NEVER.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sources

https://www.ebay.com/itm/324132133583?mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=711-53200-19255-0&campid=5338683862&customid=324132133583_11700&toolid=11000

https://www.thelocal.fr/20191126/so-why-do-we-think-the-french-all-wear-berets

https://www.latintimes.com/50-celebrities-you-didnt-know-were-latino-432660?slide=6

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000389/bio?ref_=nm_ov_bio_sm

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm5611121/bio?ref_=nm_ov_bio_sm

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm3747326/

https://www.thespruceeats.com/history-of-spanish-or-mexican-rice-2342804

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2015/06/how-europeans-brought-sickness-new-world

https://saltandwind.com/stories/341-where-to-eat-churros-barcelona-spain

https://theculturetrip.com/europe/spain/articles/25-awesome-things-you-didnt-realise-spain-gave-the-world/

https://disney.fandom.com/wiki/Juarez

https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/06/02/most-interesting-man-world-friends-barack-obama-215215

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Goldsmith

https://www.amazon.com/Home-Hilaria-Baldwin-Mommy-Be/dp/B00J71VAVQ

https://www.twistedtaco.com/get-salsa-history

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trader_Joe%27s#:~:text=Trader%20Joe%27s%20is%20named%20after%20its%20founder%2C%20Joe,7-Eleven%20and%20the%20competition%20would%20be%20too%20much.

https://www.cnn.com/2013/06/05/showbiz/charlie-sheen-now-carlos-estevez/index.html

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/405464772671797027/

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/2019/07/236985/stranger-things-3-how-did-eleven-lose-powers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbneQDc2H3I

https://www.walmart.com/grocery/ip/Goya-Spanish-Rice-Pasta-Tomatoes-Bell-Peppers-8-Oz/651893629?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=3469&&adid=22222222227000000000&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=42423897272&wl4=pla-51320962143&wl5=9003528&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=120643079&wl11=local&wl12=651893629&veh=sem&gclid=Cj0KCQiArvX_BRCyARIsAKsnTxM1v1nrmlY4X2LzV9QTUH4kRpWWRQwyIfSdZ4hSRS1WOhzM4hZBsOIaAiNmEALw_wcB

https://twitter.com/tacobelluk/status/944520460288581633

https://medium.com/better-marketing/the-most-interesting-man-in-the-world-is-actually-very-interesting-b8d913f567aa

https://www.cbc.ca/news/business/zara-inditex-workers-still-unpaid-1.4414831

https://www.ebay.ca/itm/Preowned-Zara-Trafaluc-Skinny-Stretch-Denim-Jeans-Womens-Size-2-/202952625229?hash=item2f40eb4c4d

https://perezhilton.com/hilaria-baldwin-spanish-impersonation-accusation-alec-baldwin-defense/

https://pagesix.com/2020/12/30/hilaria-baldwin-grew-up-in-multimillion-dollar-boston-home/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpGj08X_Ldg

 

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *